We took our seven-month-old baby daughter, Eloise, to visit Santa the other day. Santa, astutely, summed up the situation as a photo opportunity and so didn’t bother with the pleasantries of asking the baby what she wanted for Christmas.
After we left Santa’s air-conditioned grotto, I realised I lost my opportunity to tell him what I wanted for Christmas. If he wasn’t going to ask the baby, then to get our full money’s worth during the Santa visit experience, someone should be asked. There is probably some health and safety regulation that restricts grown-ups from actually sitting on Santa’s lap, but just thinking about it made me wonder what do I want for Christmas?
I guess at the time all I wanted was a lovely photo of Eloise and Santa that I could plaster all over social media and get ‘oh cute’ comments back. But now I have had my Facebook dopamine fix I wish I had thrown caution to the wind and clambered onto Santa’s lap. Instead, I have done the next best thing and prepared a list. I have had it on good authority that Santa occasionally reads my blog (if only to get tips on keeping the elves in order).
Say YES to LESS
Children are easily able to launch into a myriad of materialistic wants and desires. A bike, no TWO bikes in red AND blue, a trampoline, enough Lego to build a bridge to the moon. Us grown-ups are far more humble in our requests.
I know I do not need more stuff. I have plenty of everything. I have said it before but I am beyond blessed with my first world existence. What started as a humble notion of wanting less, not more, has become even more appealing as I realise how far-reaching the idea can be.
I want less mental stress, less notifications, less news drivel. I would very much like less Kardashian. I am not advocating exterminating the family, but a day or two off from their constant penetration into my cultural awareness would be nice.
Saying YES to LESS is quite easy, and to be frank, a bit of a cop out, I mean everyone wants less Kardashian don’t they? I now realise I was focusing on the ‘less’ because what I really want for Christmas is nebulous and hard to explain.
What I would like is a chance to simply finish something. I want to feel like I have accomplished something from beginning to end, without interruption. This can include all sorts of things such as the TED talk I am currently trying to watch, the hot cup of strawberry and rhubarb tea that I have put down somewhere, or this blog post. If you are reading this, I succeeded in completing at least one out of these three things.
I would love to spend more quality time with my children, with my husband and by myself. I don’t know how to reconcile these ambitious wishes AND still have time in the day to brush my teeth.
I want to feel, even fleetingly, some Christmas magic. You know the feeling – that one we all strive for at this time of year. I lost it for a long time after four consecutive years working behind the perfume counter at a major department store during the festive season. Over the past few years it has found its way back, albeit in an ephemeral fashion. Sometimes it arrives in look of an exquisitely wrapped gift or in the smile on Dylan’s face when he spots festive lights. Luckily, there is one guaranteed way of attaining it and that, of course is with the mandatory annual viewing of ‘Love Actually’.
But if I have to narrow it down to one thing, what I would like more than anything else is to know how to explain this topsy-turvy world to my children.
How can a 15 second video of rat transporting a slice of pizza down some stairs get over 8.5 million views and be the most sort after Halloween costume of 2015, yet human slavery be a bigger problem than it was 150 years ago?
How can it be possible to order a burger via emoji but there not be safe, clean drinking water available for everyone?
What sort of world do we live in where news coverage centres on 20-year-old Kendall Jenner celebrating 40 million Instagram followers by exposing her nipple instead of the largest diaspora of Middle Eastern and African people since ancient time?
No wonder Santa doesn’t ask grown-ups like me what we want. He would be stuck with a long queue of grisling children and a leg that has gone to sleep by the time I am finished talking about ‘pizza rat’ and the refugee crisis.
Perhaps he should have asked Eloise what she would like for Christmas after all. Maybe if we all think about what a baby would like things again become simple and clear-cut. I am pretty sure Eloise would be more than content with lots of hugs, kisses and laughter, plus a warm home, something nom-nom to eat, and of course, plenty of wrapping paper to rip and loll around on.
Mmmm, sounds perfect. In fact, that is all I want for Christmas after all. Well that and to watch ‘Love Actually’.
Festive greetings to you all. Love Julie, Andrew, Dylan and Eloise.
Pizza Rat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU
Burgers by emoji: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2015-08/27/burger-burger-london
Kendall Jenner on Instagram: http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/kendall-jenner-exposes-nipple-raunchy-6771235